Another sibling

Dear Ada,

You are going to be a big sister - again!  I will be 18 weeks pregnant tomorrow and your little brother (well, we're pretty sure it's a brother) is due at the beginning of October.

I started to write this letter to you months ago, but I never finished the post.  I just realized that I have so many things I want to say, that I got overwhelmed and didn't even know where to begin.  So here's a second attempt.

I still miss you deeply.

I still love you deeply.

I still think of you all the time.

I love being pregnant, because it's the one time I can compare all 3 of my babies.  I can think about when I first felt you, when I first felt Eleanor, and when I first felt this baby.  I can put on a maternity shirt and think, "I wore this with all 3 of my babies."  When this baby is born he will share lots of things with Eleanor, but this is the one time in his life that he can share things with both of his sisters.  It might seem silly to others that I think about my children sharing my maternity clothes, but it's all I have.

I think about how lucky I am to have each of my babies.  You all teach me so much.

Today I took Eleanor to story time at the library.  The librarian acted out a story about a mother holding a little boy (well, a puppet in her case) in her lap.  The boy keeps getting all of his toys and adding them to his mother's lap, and then eventually his baby sister cries and the mama has to hold her too.  The boy is upset because he thinks there won't be any more room for him, but the story ended with something along the lines of, "That's the amazing thing about mother's laps - there's always room for one more."  I got teary eyed, maybe partly from pregnancy hormones, because I thought about how much I wish I could have one more baby in my lap.  I miss you, sweet girl.

Love,

Your mama