Tonight I looked at pictures of a friend's kid's birthday party. Everything looked amazing and they had a really cute fall theme with pumpkins everywhere. I had the silly thought, "Oh, I hope that one day we'll have a kid with a fall birthday because there's so much fun stuff in the fall!" I love my own fall birthday, after all.
But wait! I was supposed to have a fall baby. Ada's due date was November 5, which is slowly creeping up on me. She would be 2 this year just like the boy celebrating his birthday at this party.
My baby, my firstborn, should be 2. All I have instead are lots of tears and an empty hole in my heart that nobody else will ever fill. Eleanor has certainly healed the rawness of the hole - she is WONDERFUL and seriously amazes me every day - but there will always be a missing piece.
I miss you, Ada Elizabeth.
P.S. You have a brand new cousin who was born yesterday. Her middle name is Elizabeth, too. :)
1 comment:
I often wonder if December will ever have the same glimmer that it used to...Lily's due date was December 3rd and this will be my third December 3rd without her and it still hurts.
I noticed (on fb) that your new neice's middle name was Elizabeth which made me smile because that's a popular name in your family! :)
(I'm guessing I missed this post b/c this was the day we had Cooper's first bday party)
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