Today was the big day that I told everybody at school, including my students, that I'm having a baby. For the most part I really enjoyed everybody's responses. Most of my students were pretty quiet except for my class with 22 girls in it - they were quite giddy! They got all excited and decided that they want to throw me a shower. Lately they've been saying that they want to throw a party and eat food in class, and I guess they think this gives them a valid reason. I'll probably let them do it closer to the end of the year.
One response really upset me though, although I know it was well intended. Another teacher hugged me and said, "See, I told you everything would turn out okay." Excuse me? Do you think that I don't care about my baby that I lost anymore? Do you think that my excitement over this new life erases Ada's brief little life? I love Ada, probably more than I've ever loved anybody in my life, and I miss her all of the time. Everything did not turn out "okay" because my daughter is no longer here with me. I know this teacher was trying to encourage me, but it kind of stung. I love this new little baby but I will always miss my Ada.
One response really upset me though, although I know it was well intended. Another teacher hugged me and said, "See, I told you everything would turn out okay." Excuse me? Do you think that I don't care about my baby that I lost anymore? Do you think that my excitement over this new life erases Ada's brief little life? I love Ada, probably more than I've ever loved anybody in my life, and I miss her all of the time. Everything did not turn out "okay" because my daughter is no longer here with me. I know this teacher was trying to encourage me, but it kind of stung. I love this new little baby but I will always miss my Ada.
5 comments:
I hate that. I posted about that a few weeks ago as well. Being pregnant again does not make everything okay...does not ERASE any pain. I'm glad you got mostly great responses.
I have been following your new journey and praying. Ada will be remembered forever by many of us, and even though we are all excited to meet her little brother or sister, she will always be missed.
Oh, the lovely things that people say...I just smile and nod now, b/c correcting people is just a waste of time.
I'm sure that it was nice to finally share the good news with your students, since you probably spend more time with them then you do with anyone else~
Nothing will erase the love and the longing that you have for Ada, but the new life that you have inside of you is such a positive source of hope...and I can't help but be extremly excited for you.
I'm sorry she said that to you. People just don't understand, and it really doesn't do any good to correct them. I'm glad you got mostly great responses and how sweet your class wants to give you a shower.
Ouch. What a comment. A lot of people just don't get it, and thank God for that, I guess - I just wish they could have a little sensitivity without having to learn it the hard way.
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