I need help. Ada's first birthday is quickly approaching on July 16, and I don't know what to do to celebrate/remember her. We plan to go back to the beach where we spread her ashes at sunrise, but that's it. Really, Hunter kind of needs to work that day because only 4 days later I'll be going back to the hospital to deliver Eleanor. But then again, if he's taking off a week or two for her, shouldn't he take off a day for Ada, too? We haven't actually discussed this yet...I'm really just thinking out loud here.
I feel like I've been so preoccupied with Eleanor that I've almost forgotten about this upcoming date. Sometimes I fear that Eleanor is slowly replacing Ada. I know that's not true, and I know that none of the people who care about me have forgotten Ada, but it's certainly a lot more exciting to talk about the upcoming birth of my healthy baby than it is to sadly remember where we were a year ago. Eleanor will probably be born on July 21 - one year to the day after Ada's memorial service.
So back to my point - what should we do to remember Ada's short little life? All suggestions are welcome.
I feel like I've been so preoccupied with Eleanor that I've almost forgotten about this upcoming date. Sometimes I fear that Eleanor is slowly replacing Ada. I know that's not true, and I know that none of the people who care about me have forgotten Ada, but it's certainly a lot more exciting to talk about the upcoming birth of my healthy baby than it is to sadly remember where we were a year ago. Eleanor will probably be born on July 21 - one year to the day after Ada's memorial service.
So back to my point - what should we do to remember Ada's short little life? All suggestions are welcome.
5 comments:
We're doing a balloon release at Cameron's memorial site with our family. Afterward, we were planning a small cookout here at our house.
I want it to be a good day for everyone!
Hi Beth,
I've been thinking a lot about what I will do for Ella's due date which was 7/10. Some people have suggested planting something (done it), or starting a scrapbook (done it). I know that on the due date weekend, I'm going to deliver the hats I've been knitting to the hospital where Ella was born. I think baking a cake or some cupcakes would be nice. Though, Hunter might have to help with that. It might be dangerous for you to attempt cooking at this statge in your pregnancy. :) Whatever you chose to do, know that you already honor Ada each day.
Have a cake. I completely understand why Hunter needs to save up his time for Eleanor, but it might feel wonderful and almost "peaceful" if you guys spend that day honoring Ada. Then you will not feel guilty when everything is hectic and all your focus is on Eleanor for a while.
You could do a balloon release, have people write letters to Ada, make a cake, pull out her box and look at her things. If I think of anything else, I will let you know. I'm sorry it has been a whole year since you last held your little girl.
How about you invite some of your girlfriends/family over and have some cake? Or enjoy some cupcakes? Whatever have something small – after all you are heavily pregnant Mate! Lite a candle and just soak in all the love around you. Let someone take some photo’s too. Whatever you decide to do, Ada knows your heart. I am sure she is happy that Eleanor takes up about all of your time. If I lived close to you I would have spoilt you rotten! :)
I also recommend that Hunter takes the day off (but work doesn't always cooperate, I know, so it's not always possible) - for the same reasons Never Forgetting Gregory says. But there's enough guilt in parenting a stillborn baby, so I don't mean to pressure you - I'm sure you two will figure something great out even if he can't!
We had a party for Malou with (in retrospect) too many people - we visited her grave and had a bbq. But it turned out it was just too much - too many people, too many distractions, drawing our focus away from Malou. Next year we will probably do something just the two of us (maybe a special dinner in or out to reminisce) OR do cupcakes and a grave visit with just a few close people who "get it".
Post a Comment