Ada's Sunrise

There is a story behind the picture at the top of this page. About 2 weeks after Ada was born, Hunter and I scattered her ashes on the beach at sunrise. We sat on the beach for a while watching the sky get brighter and the sun get higher. We talked about the things that made us sad - I remember saying that I could imagine her as a little girl, playing in the waves. We had already had a service for her, but I felt like we should do something before scattering her ashes so we read Psalm 139. It's a very familiar Psalm that I'm sure most people have heard, and it's the only one I could think of to read. I had not even thought ahead of time about the imagery in the Psalm - it talks about the ocean and the sand. Anyway, here it is again:

O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

I started to read the scripture, but I couldn't even get through the first line so Hunter had to read it instead. Then, we walked out into the water and we each had a tiny handful of ashes. We scattered them into the ocean at the same time, just as the water was receding.

If you know me at all, you know that I LOVE to travel. One of the things that has saddened me since we lost Ada is the thought that I will never be able to take her to new places and travel with her all over the world. Well, after we scattered her ashes, Hunter turned to me and said that Ada will now get to travel more than he or I ever will. That thought really comforts me.

The sunrise that morning was the most beautiful one that I have ever seen.