Yesterday Kevin and Kathy had their baby! It's a boy and his name is Eric James. The last couple of weeks of the pregnancy were a little scary, but everything turned out okay for them in the end. I am so happy for them. They also know what it's like to lose their first baby, so this gives me hope and I know that one day we too will have healthy children.
Even though I truly am happy for them, it was a reminder of my own reality yesterday. Hunter talked to Kevin and after he hung up, he told me how everything had gone. I had no idea this was coming, but I just burst into tears. While I am so glad that my friends have a healthy baby to hold, it made me think about my own labor and delivery. It just seems so unfair.
Our other good friends, Brian and Amy, had a healthy baby girl 4 months ago. They also had some pregnancy scares (seriously, when did having children become so scary?!) but they have such a beautiful little girl now. When I found out I was pregnant, I thought it was so cool that all three of us - Amy, Kathy, and myself - were all pregnant at the same time and would all be having babies in the same year. I imagined our kids playing together whenever we all get together. My sister-in-law also had a baby in March, my cousin had a baby in April, and a good friend at work is due in October. Two of my college roommates are expecting as well. I don't feel any jealousy towards any of them and in fact I am now more appreciative than ever when somebody has a healthy baby. But why can't I have that too? Why does it seem like everybody else's story has a happy ending but mine? I know there's really no answer to these questions and most of the time I'm okay, but sometimes it just makes me sad that we aren't having a baby too.
Even though I truly am happy for them, it was a reminder of my own reality yesterday. Hunter talked to Kevin and after he hung up, he told me how everything had gone. I had no idea this was coming, but I just burst into tears. While I am so glad that my friends have a healthy baby to hold, it made me think about my own labor and delivery. It just seems so unfair.
Our other good friends, Brian and Amy, had a healthy baby girl 4 months ago. They also had some pregnancy scares (seriously, when did having children become so scary?!) but they have such a beautiful little girl now. When I found out I was pregnant, I thought it was so cool that all three of us - Amy, Kathy, and myself - were all pregnant at the same time and would all be having babies in the same year. I imagined our kids playing together whenever we all get together. My sister-in-law also had a baby in March, my cousin had a baby in April, and a good friend at work is due in October. Two of my college roommates are expecting as well. I don't feel any jealousy towards any of them and in fact I am now more appreciative than ever when somebody has a healthy baby. But why can't I have that too? Why does it seem like everybody else's story has a happy ending but mine? I know there's really no answer to these questions and most of the time I'm okay, but sometimes it just makes me sad that we aren't having a baby too.
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