At my two week checkup after Ada was born, our doctor told us that we could try again right away. This past month was really our first chance to try, and today I found out that I'm not pregnant. I'm just disappointed, because I really wanted this to happen quickly for us. Last time it took us about 4 months, which I know is better than average (6 months - 1 year), but it felt like forever. At least nobody at all knew that we were trying, so I never felt any pressure - this time I feel like the whole world knows (and I guess they do now that I'm writing this)! I was just really hoping that it would happen right away for us this time. Plus, my due date would have been about a week or two after school gets out, which would have been perfect. I guess, looking on the bright side, this is giving my body more time to heal and giving us a little more time to mourn Ada. But still, I really want to be pregnant by her due date (Nov. 5) or at least by Christmas, because I think it will make those days easier for me.
On a different note, today I started crying when I least expected it. I can talk about Ada and not cry, or show Ada's box to a friend and not cry, but today I was in Michael's when I saw some really cute pregnancy scrapbooking stickers and I immediately got tears in my eyes. The one that got to me said "Nine months." I had to turn around and pull myself together before I walked around like an idiot crying in Michael's. It's so weird, because earlier I had even been looking at some kind of display of crafts to make for new babies, and that didn't bother me. It just came out of the blue.
On a different note, today I started crying when I least expected it. I can talk about Ada and not cry, or show Ada's box to a friend and not cry, but today I was in Michael's when I saw some really cute pregnancy scrapbooking stickers and I immediately got tears in my eyes. The one that got to me said "Nine months." I had to turn around and pull myself together before I walked around like an idiot crying in Michael's. It's so weird, because earlier I had even been looking at some kind of display of crafts to make for new babies, and that didn't bother me. It just came out of the blue.
3 comments:
I know you want it to happen right away, and I can imagine the disappointment! We'll know in about 2 weeks.
I'm so sorry you didn't get it this month, but it will happen! I pray that you'll get a positive by Ada's due date! I really really want to be pregnant by Dec. 25 too. I think it's a thing of comfort for us.
I'll be keeping up with you and hoping that you get pregnant next month!
Big hugs to you. We can't start trying until next month, although this month, we have decided not to use any birth control. I hope it happens soon for you.
I'm so sorry. I know how much those BFNs suck. I am with you and hoping and wishing so hard that it happens right away for us (although we can't try yet). I'm sorry. And I really hope you get pg by Ada's due date also. Hugs.
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