Today we brought Eleanor home from the hospital and it was an emotional time for me. During our stay in the hospital we saw several of the same nurses from Ada's delivery. In fact, the same nurse was with me when I delivered Ada and when I delivered Eleanor - that was pretty special. I never saw my favorite nurse from Ada's delivery until today though. (Her name, which I know several of you in our "club" will find interesting, is Holly.) She checked me in when I went in to deliver Ada, and when I first walked into the delivery room and saw the warmer I burst into tears. Holly gave me a big hug, and I have never forgotten about that. It was one of the nicest moments in the hospital. So, this morning I was pleasantly surprised when she walked into my room to bring me towels. We just sort of looked at each other for a minute, and then she said, "I remember you guys." I told her that I remembered her too, and I got a little teary, and she came over and gave me a hug exactly like last time. That was a very special moment for me - and probably for her, too.
I really have been so overwhelmed since labor began on Wednesday morning that I haven't had much time to think about Ada. I mean, of course I thought about her, but there was just SO much going on at the hospital. Today though, I wheeled Eleanor down the hall to get her picture made right before we were ready to leave. I stopped for a minute next to the room where Ada was born, and then next door at the room where Eleanor was born. When I finally got into the wheelchair to leave and they put Eleanor in the car seat on me, it hit me. I was leaving the hospital with a baby in my arms. A live baby. Not a box of ashes. Then later when we pulled up in the driveway and I saw the beautiful balloons that Hunter and a friend had gotten to put on our mailbox, I finally let myself cry. It was such a mixture of emotions - I am SO HAPPY that Eleanor is here! I love her so much! Yet, I miss Ada. She never got to have all this fanfare or a happy ending. I wish I could have them both here.
I really have been so overwhelmed since labor began on Wednesday morning that I haven't had much time to think about Ada. I mean, of course I thought about her, but there was just SO much going on at the hospital. Today though, I wheeled Eleanor down the hall to get her picture made right before we were ready to leave. I stopped for a minute next to the room where Ada was born, and then next door at the room where Eleanor was born. When I finally got into the wheelchair to leave and they put Eleanor in the car seat on me, it hit me. I was leaving the hospital with a baby in my arms. A live baby. Not a box of ashes. Then later when we pulled up in the driveway and I saw the beautiful balloons that Hunter and a friend had gotten to put on our mailbox, I finally let myself cry. It was such a mixture of emotions - I am SO HAPPY that Eleanor is here! I love her so much! Yet, I miss Ada. She never got to have all this fanfare or a happy ending. I wish I could have them both here.
6 comments:
Sounds very emotional. I'm so glad you got to bring that gorgeous girl home. Of course you will still think of Ada, but while you have new little cheeks to kiss on!
oh girl, you have me in tears. you've experienced a miracle this week. i'm excited to hear more about your precious baby.
I know it had to be overwhelmingly emotional for you, along with all the hormones running through your body right now, too. I'm a little afraid of being overwhelmed like that in November, but it will be worth it. And, Ada knows you love her, even if you aren't able to think as much about her as you used to.
Oh Beth! I so wish I was there to hug you. Ada knows how much you love her and I am sure she is very pleased with her little sister. May Eleanor heal your broken heart Honey. Hugs to you :)
We all envision the day that we have our babies and it will always sting that we didn't get to have those happy memories with the babies that we lost. I'm thankful that you are experiencing all the happy stuff with Eleanor and she must be such a joy in your arms.
I am so happy ya'll made it home! The next few weeks/months will be full of different emotions and that's totally normal. I love Gunner and miss Tyler more now that he's here. That caused a lot of guilt, but now I've accepted that it's ok to feel both. You will always miss Ada and as Eleanor grows, you will always know she is missing a sister. But at the same time, Eleanor will bring joy back to your heart that you never imagined! Enjoy every minute of her!!
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