Happy 1st birthday, Ada!

Dear Ada,

Today is your first birthday. I can't believe that it has been one whole year since you were born. I will never forget that day because it was the day I got to meet you and hold you. I loved touching your tiny little fingers and toes and marveling at how perfect you were.

I have thought about you every single day over the past year. Sometimes I think about you and I am overcome with sadness, but other days I think about you and I smile because I love you so much.

Today your dad and I spent the whole day together to celebrate and remember you. First, we went to the beach at sunrise. We went to the exact same spot where we scattered your ashes last July and we sat there for a long time. Just like last year, we watched the sun rise, the crabs play in the waves, and the birds fly along the water. We talked about you and all of the things that we miss. We talked about bringing your little sister to the beach next year on your birthday. We talked about how much we've changed over the last year.

After a relaxing morning (your dad made pancakes!), we went to lunch at one of our favorite places and went to see the new Harry Potter movie. We enjoyed just spending some time together doing something fun. When we got home, we were so excited about a package that arrived. Your great aunt Shirley sent us a snowglobe that is so beautiful and perfect - it immediately brought tears to my eyes. It says, "We never lose the ones we love... they live on in our hearts." Your name and birthday are engraved on it. You never even got the chance to learn this, but I collect snowglobes. This is definitely the most special one I have ever received.

We spent a while this afternoon looking through your box. We stared at your ultrasound pictures - I especially love the ones of your little hands and feet. We looked at the one picture we have of you wrapped in the blanket from your grandmother and we compared the size of your little hand to the letters on the blanket. You were just so tiny! I love holding your blanket and remembering what it was like to hold you inside of it. I wish I could have held you forever.

Finally, we made strawberry cupcakes for you. (We certainly are enjoying them too!) Your dad really thinks you would have like spiced gumdrops since he does, so I let him put gumdrops on some of them. I think they're kind of gross though, so the rest of the cupcakes have sprinkles. I tried to spell out your name, but as you can see from the picture it didn't work very well.

Ada, you are loved by many - so many people told me that they were thinking of you today. I just wish I could have watched you grow up this past year. You will always be my firstborn, and I love you and miss you so much. Happy 1st birthday, sweet girl.