I did a little bit of early bird shopping this morning. (I didn't leave until about 7:45 - I'm not that crazy!) I was looking for a few Christmas gifts, but I also was looking for a little baby Thanksgiving outfit on clearance. The first thing I ever bought Ada was a St. Patrick's outfit on clearance after the holiday. I'm not a big St. Patrick's celebrator or anything, but it was cute, gender neutral, and only $3 or $4. Now that outfit is just sitting in a drawer upstairs. I'm not sure what to do with it.
Anyway, I went to look at baby clothes today for the first time since July. It wasn't too sad, but I realized that the clothes that kept grabbing my attention were for little girls. I saw several outfits that were so cute, and I thought that what I should be doing is buying things like that for Ada. It was a fleeting thought, and I am very happy about this baby on the way, but this baby doesn't replace my loss. I guess I'm learning what any mother does when she has a second child. You love all of your children - just because you have a second child that you love, you don't love the first one any less.
Anyway, I went to look at baby clothes today for the first time since July. It wasn't too sad, but I realized that the clothes that kept grabbing my attention were for little girls. I saw several outfits that were so cute, and I thought that what I should be doing is buying things like that for Ada. It was a fleeting thought, and I am very happy about this baby on the way, but this baby doesn't replace my loss. I guess I'm learning what any mother does when she has a second child. You love all of your children - just because you have a second child that you love, you don't love the first one any less.
2 comments:
I had those same fears when I was pregnant with Cameron. I didn't think there was any way I could love another child the way I did Aiden.
Boy was I ever wrong!!
That's what's so amazing about us women!
I'm so glad you are getting the opportunity to smile brightly again. All of this will be a reminder of Ada, but hopefully it is a pleasant reminder that this is not Ada's replacement but her sibling. That's awesome.
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